So tonight I was talking to a friend about cutting. I have been feeling down over the last little while after recovering for some time. I didn't say I was actually going to cut.. but she made it out to be like the worst thing in the world. Cutting has allowed me to release some of the pain inside me so it doesn't well up into suicidal thoughts, plans and actions. How can that possibly be the worst thing in the world, if it has kept me alive?
I hate that people do not understand cutting. I hate that they do not understand anything about the feelings that you cut to get a release from.. Seriously if they did, they would understand and perhaps be more ACCEPTING.
I have been on medication for the last 11 years.. up until about 3 months ago... I stopped with medical advice, and I know that I did the right thing. Not being medicated has allowed me to feel the raw emotion, not blocked out with medications. I need to deal with my issues now, while I can without being doped up too much to talk about it. And I don't want to cut, because I haven't for like 10 months... but I just need my FRIENDS to understand that has been part of who I am and by them judging cutting I feel as though they are judging me.
I'm over it.. going to bed.